Getting to the Heart of the Matter, the “Bad Child” Syndrome
A lot of our deepest fears are rooted in negative core beliefs that impact our self-concept and self-worth. When we grow up feeling insecure, “not good enough,” “less than” or as if we were a “bad child,” these beliefs are so pervasive that they can often interfere with relationships and our ability to make healthy lasting connections throughout our lives.
How do we uncover and conquer these deep rooted core beliefs? How do we address them and begin to alter them to become more adaptive? Believing that we are “bad children” may start because someone told us we were “bad” when we were younger. Or perhaps the belief began because in our childhood, a significant adult in our lives was unable to handle their own mistakes, and projected those negative feelings onto us. Perhaps we were often criticized or shamed rather than comforted, or we grew up feeling like we were somehow different or did not fit in with the rest of the crowd.
However it began, these core beliefs impact an individual’s self-esteem, and can create a tendency toward people-pleasing behaviors, difficulties in forming healthy relationships, and experiencing pervasive episodes of depression and anxiety. There can be a pattern toward self-defeating thoughts and behaviors that interfere with building deeper level connections with others involving trust and intimacy.
It is therefore critical that we learn to challenge these patterns of thoughts and behavior by: seeking awareness and understanding of our deep seated core beliefs, challenging our negative thinking habits, practicing self-care and self-compassion, and forming positive and supportive connections with others.
How can we begin to meet these goals? Trauma informed therapy is good place to begin. By utilizing an integrative trauma therapeutic lens, we can help you gain confidence through this process by addressing the heart of the matter; negative self-worth and deep rooted core beliefs that interfere with thinking and behavior patterns. Through processing, we can begin to create a bridge between the negative beliefs and more positive adaptive beliefs. We can help you uncover patterns of traumatic memories that may link back to childhood, creating a “bridge” between the stuck feelings from the past and working to transform them into more positive feelings about the future. We can work with you to reassure your inner child, and convince them that they are okay and good enough as they are. To work toward self-acceptance and even self-love, to begin to experience transformation from negative to positive self-worth.
If you are ready to conquer your negative core beliefs and transform your whole self into a healthier authentic version of you, reach out to us today and take the next step in your journey.
