Relationships that are transactional often have an underlying tone and quality to them. They exist to benefit either one or both parties, but they often prioritize what you do versus who you are. The benefits, at best, are bi-directional, but often they primarily serve to benefit one party over the other.

Social anxiety is a little bit like chasing the rabbit down the hole. It often stems from a combination of heritable traits, an overactive stress response, childhood experiences, and learned behavior. Social anxiety is also often compounded by perfectionism, imposter syndrome, and rejection sensitive dysphoria. Social anxiety not only impacts daily social interactions, it can also affect your self-esteem and feelings of self-worth.

Nowadays, it seems that intergenerational cut-offs are so common, that they may happen for any reason, including clashes in values, differences of opinion, or even a look that someone gave you that was taken out of context. Sometimes the cut-off is interpreted as holding firm boundaries, which is sometimes given as an excuse for remaining distant and estranged.

Let’s face it, back to school is here and some kids simply do not want to go. Back to school is hard enough for families as we adjust from the slow pace of summer to the long grueling grind of the school day. Not to mention needing to wait for half an hour in line at the before and after school pick-up and drop-off. It is hard to readjust to the routine again, for kids and parents alike.

So, then where does this intense fear of judgment start to form? Somewhere along the way, through all the shaming and criticism, and through being told you are “bad” in some form or another, you start to get the hint. Read: This is not in your head. In fact, some people don’t recognize that your fear actually is valid even when it is far from the truth.