Growth Mindset
Sometimes we get trapped in a perfectionistic way of thinking. “This is what I should be doing…if only I could do this (one thing) better…why does everyone else seem to be performing better than me?” We may compare and despair, assume that we are not good enough, or that somehow we “don’t measure up.” This can severely impact our self-esteem and feelings of self-worth.
Perfectionistic thinking habits interfere with our daily routines. We often doubt our own abilities, and think that, if we could do everything perfectly, we wouldn’t be having so much trouble to begin with. This often leads to more doubt surrounding our true abilities and potential.
Who is setting the bar this high? Is it the expectations of our society, families, or cultural norms? Are our schools and work environments too heavily focused on over-achievement? We may consider that it is becoming increasingly more difficult to get admitted to certain colleges, to compete for a higher level position in a company, or to even become self-employed. We may hear a lot of buzz about the desire to create a healthier balance in our lives, and yet we still feel the pressure to perform beyond our personal and physical limits.
In the book, “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” (2016) by Carol S. Dweck, PhD, she talks about the importance of nurturing a “growth mindset” over a “fixed mindset.” Where the fixed mindset fosters a more rigid and perfectionistic way of thinking, the growth mindset promotes greater flexibility and the ability to see opportunity for learning through challenging experiences. It can be difficult to shift our mindset from an already established way of thinking.
How do we re-set and evaluate our own expectations for ourselves? How do we begin to adjust our thinking patterns to establish a more flexible mode of operation?
We might begin by:
1. Evaluating the expectations we are placing on ourselves. Are these expectations realistic? Can we challenge these expectations and replace them with goals for growth?
2. Re-examining our faulty beliefs about our own abilities, and accurately assessing our strengths and areas for improvement. We can begin to recognize our potential.
3. Challenging our assumptions about our own self-worth. Where do these assumptions come from? Were they conditioned at a young age, or influenced by social standards?
4. Stopping the comparisons. If we are constantly comparing ourselves to others, we are unable to recognize our own unique traits and talents. Every one has their own abilities and skillsets, no matter what education, titles, or accolades they have received.
5. Question rigid standards and views imposed by others. Don’t allow anyone else to dictate how you should feel about yourself. You are in control of your thoughts and actions, and frankly, do not need to “live up” to expectations set by anyone else.
6. Promote positive thinking and healthy affirmations. Affirm your strengths and talents, by acknowledging your unique skills and assets. This is not the same as praising yourself in comparison to others. Acknowledge your own self-worth and potential, this will nurture your true sense of worth and value.
Remember that even when we have become accustomed to thinking and believing in a rigid way, there is always an opportunity to shift and orient ourselves toward greater growth. Through examining our own human flaws and deficiencies, we can truly begin to achieve our greater potential for success in life.
Citation: Dweck, Carol S. 2016. “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, How We Can Learn to Fulfill Our Potential.” Penguin Random House, LLC, New York.
