Finding Freedom

Sometimes it can be hard to feel that we are in control of our life choices. When circumstances happen that are outside of our control, we may experience a feeling that we are trapped by external events. We may be experiencing significant changes or losses, and it can be hard to adapt to the situation. This can trigger anxiety and despair, and we may frantically attempt to regain control in defeating or harmful ways.

It is important to remember that we have the freedom to choose how we respond to these significant events in our lives. We have a voice, we can control our own actions, and we have the ability to alter our thoughts. Even when faced with circumstances of significant failure or loss, we still have the power to alter our thoughts and behaviors in response to the situation.

Let’s look at an example. On any given day, we may experience a minor setback. Perhaps we failed an exam at school, or we were late to work due to getting stuck in traffic, or we forgot our lunch, keys, or wallet, on the kitchen counter. If we allow the setback to dictate our experience of the day, we may continue to feel miserable hours later, and this will affect how we perceive other events that may transpire in the same day. However, if we shift our thinking to a more positive mindset, begin the day with powerful affirmation that we are in control of our life’s choices (even if we are not in control of the circumstances), we may view the setback in a different light. What did we learn by failing the exam? Would it be helpful to leave for work at a different time of day when there is less traffic, or try a new route? Can we organize the things we need to carry with us out the door so that we are less likely to forget them?

This freedom of thought may be more challenging to maintain when we encounter significant loss or change. Loss of a partner or spouse, changing jobs, moving to a new city, or the death of a close friend or family member may impact our ability to see things clearly. When these events occur, it can be really difficult to maintain perspective that we still have some control over our lives. It may be harder to face our daily responsibilities, or we may have the urge to escape through unhealthy means: through substance use, self-harm, or even engaging in negative or ruminative thinking patterns. Remember that, even if we cannot change what has happened, we can continue to live our lives in the present, and move through the challenges that we are experiencing. Give ourselves permission to grieve the loss or transition while continuing to recognize the powerful and positive experiences in our lives.

Also remember to honor your thoughts and your own world view. Freedom comes from feeling that we can speak our minds, that we can affect change in our own lives and in the lives of others. It comes from the sense that we are, ultimately autonomous beings and we are only disempowered when we allow ourselves to feel trapped by our life experiences. Freedom evolves from shifting our perspective, making effective choices to alter our individual life path, and to view difficult circumstances as less challenging and more liberating. When we realize that freedom of thought contributes to more peace, life satisfaction and fulfillment, it encourages us to continue to develop this power of mind.