The Devastating Effects of Bullying
Bullying behaviors can leave a lasting and devastating impact on mental health for pre-teens and teens who experience them. Bullying is generally considered any teasing, harassing, ostracizing or marginalization that occurs in a cultural context. When teens are constantly harassed and bullied, it can lead to an increase in low self-esteem, isolation and depression, and crisis behaviors such as self-harm and suicidality.
Given the harmful potential of bullying to a teen’s emotional and physical safety, we need to be more vigilant in encouraging communication around feeling threatened in school, work, or home environments. Many times bullying may begin as “innocent teasing” from close friends or peer groups, but may escalate over time to ostracizing and marginalizing an individual from the group.
Teens who are targeted for bullying behaviors are often well-liked, have strong and confident personalities, and are many times seen as “agreeable and conscientious.” The bully often feels more powerful when they can belittle someone who is secure in themselves. The bully may select this type of target due to their perception of feeling inferior to this person, or some other perceived experience of threat or insecurity. They may also feel that this person is “too good” to fight back.
The reality is that even a confident person can feel lonely and isolated by cruel peer behaviors. A solid peer group is very important to a teen’s sense of identity and self-esteem, and when this support is lacking, it is easy for teens to slip into a state of depression.
Sometimes the harmful behaviors may be taking place in the home environment, due to emotional abuse from a parent or sibling, or other family member. Emotional abuse is often the result of immature parenting styles, or lack of awareness of the impact of dys-regulated authority on a teenager’s self-esteem.
Teens are not the only group effected by bullying. Adults can also bully each other at home or in professional settings. It is astonishing that power dynamics in relationships do not really change until an individual decides to alter them. Unfortunately, often this is a change that is made only after there has been long-lasting and persevering impacts of bullying on the individual.
How can we be more mindful to stop bullying in its tracks? The first step is to speak up, and call attention to the bully’s behaviors and the impact those behaviors are having on you. There may be a “ramping up” period, where the bully will continue to harass the individual to test their reaction or response. However, if the individual stays grounded and calm, and continually calls the bully out on their actions in a gentle and firm (detached) manner, the bully will eventually lose interest. There are many other alternatives that are also effective in response to bullying, but an individual must decide for themselves what feels congruent for them. And, as always, if the bully is physically threatening, or will not stop after repeated interventions, seek support from others in your environment or community.
