Non-Attachment
The Buddhist principle of non-attachment stems from a philosophy or principle of not attaching too much meaning to material possessions, our thoughts and emotions, and relationships with others.
Material things are of little or no value in the grand scheme of life. When we put this in perspective, we can recognize the difference between our wants and needs. Can we be content to simply have enough, rather than to lust after what we don’t have? Are we able to recognize that the value and worth of an object will depreciate over time, even after the moment we purchase it, and once the object has is “devalued” we no longer assign it as much meaning. We simply develop greed for the next valuable possession, and the cycle continues. Practicing non-attachment in relation to material possessions means that we can have an attitude that things are of less importance and we can learn to be content with what we have.
Practicing non-attachment to thoughts and emotions means developing awareness over when these reactions arise, and being able to release them and let it go. Anger is not allowed to fester when we are able to release it completely. Stepping back to notice our thoughts and reactions also allows us to master a state of calm detachment and to gain perspective on an issue. Our feelings often come from a triggered state, which results from a build up of other similar experiences or situations from the past. Therefore, the intensity of feeling is often an over-reaction to the event in the moment. If we can see this over-reaction, we can calmly detach from the cycle and develop greater mastery over our feelings.
Another aspect of non-attachment shows us that we can be aware when we are trying to control a relationship through our expectations or predicted outcomes. Expectations are inherently problematic, because they are one-sided. Even if expectations are agreed upon in a relationship, circumstances may change, and the expectations will inevitably need to adjust and adapt with them. Expectations often lead to disillusionment, projections, and denial of responsibility. The other person is blamed for the problem, as opposed to realizing the faultiness that lies in the expectation.
Ultimately, the value in the principle of non-attachment lies in cultivating greater perspective, detachment from emotional reactivity, and an ability to accept what is and let things go. It can be helpful to practice non-attachment through yoga, meditation, or mindfulness practice to channel an inner state of strength and calm.
