Barbie discovers that it is not so bad to be grounded in reality. That there is a wonderful aspect to the dark thoughts of the death, and the existential fears that every human eventually has to face. She may no longer be invincible or “perfect” but she is more real, more genuine, and more adaptable than she has ever been.

I often view emotional immaturity as existing on a spectrum or continuum. Very few people are full blown narcissistic or borderline personalities. Most people exist somewhere in between, in the shades of grey.

If we don’t expose our vulnerable core, we risk being rejected on the basis of appearing disingenuous or incongruent. Vulnerability in authentic expression is a risk, and one that not everyone feels they can handle. But if we push ourselves to share, to connect, and to grow in truthful communication with others, we can fulfill our desires for stronger, closer, and more intimate connections with the valuable people in our lives.

Is the rage that King Triton demonstrates any different from Ursula’s rage? They were both motivated by possessiveness, power and control.

When we recognize that we are slipping into the Gaslight Tango, we can learn to take control over our own behavior and response to extract us from the situation and minimize the impact of the abuse.

As a child, growing up with an emotionally immature parent can feel imbalanced. The relationship may revolve around the parent’s needs, emotions, or wants as opposed to what is in the best interest of the child.

In an emotionally immature family system, there is someone who often assumes the role of the Golden Child. This is the one who is “most special” or “apart from the rest” in the eyes of the parent, who tends to see the best (or “idealized”) traits in this child.

Positive leadership has the potential to inspire and motivate, to challenge, to create a lasting impact on others, in the community, and beyond. Positive leadership promotes strong moral and ethical values aligning with integrity of thought and action.

Healthy relationships value consistency. This means that healthy relationships are reciprocal in nature, without a power imbalance. Relationships that are consistent are reliable, responsive, and trustworthy. They make consistent efforts to show through their actions that they value the relationship they have with you.

We all get stuck in our habits. Behaviors that don’t serve us, harmful ways of coping, and unhealthy lifestyle patterns. We have the power to transform our lives. But it is easier to believe we don’t. So we don’t have to change our behaviors. Without accountability, we get stuck, and never have to grow and evolve.

Bullying behaviors can leave a lasting and devastating impact on mental health for pre-teens and teens who experience them. Bullying is generally considered any teasing, harassing, ostracizing or marginalization that occurs in a cultural context. When teens are constantly harassed and bullied, it can lead to an increase in low self-esteem, isolation and depression, and crisis behaviors such as self-harm and suicidality.

Many individuals express emotional immaturity in some capacity. It can be viewed on a spectrum, and not as a definitive or pejorative term. The terms “narcissist” and “borderline” often get overused to mis-label or categorize people who more accurately may be considered to be emotionally immature.

Sometimes our connections with others merely skim the surface. We can joke and laugh, and have a good time while merely speaking about superficial issues. But who can we feel safe with to share our deeper wants and desires? Sometimes this lack of intimate social connections creates more of a disconnect. We may be surrounded by family and friends and still feel emotionally lonely.

More knowledge has been coming out in the open about reality distortion (aka gaslighting). This is a classic technique that has been used for centuries, especially by individuals with narcissistic personality traits, to convince people that “what they see is not what they get.” Generally, this serves to confuse the individual’s perception of reality, and to allow the perpetrator to wriggle off the hook, squeaky clean.

Keeping in mind a gentle but firm style of assertiveness, while holding true to your principles for respectful interactions and behaviors, can create a long lasting pattern of healthy and impactful communication in relationships.

When an individual discovers they are being manipulated, or when they recognize the signs of manipulation at play, it is very wise to be strategic when confronting these behaviors.

In authentic, caring and reciprocal relationships, honesty is significant because, even when uncomfortable, it allows us to enter into the realm of deeper, trusting and more genuine connections with others.

This blog post was recently published to SacWellness. It is the classic tale of power struggles within a group of people, where one person takes on the role of the Victim, Hero, and Villian.

What is your relationship with authority figures in your life? How do you relate with others through a position of authority? And in what ways are you your own authority? Examining the origins of our own relationships with authority figures in throughout our lives can give us insight into how we step into our own power and positions of authority in relationship to others.

There are times when finding the voice to speak about our experiences can be extremely challenging and even painful. We may feel unheard, invalidated, or we may be trapped in an abusive environment or relationship that even shames our efforts to speak up. We can feel ostracized, marginalized, disempowered or trapped. It is so important, that even in these moments, we can realize that we are not alone. Support is around us, and sometimes we may struggle to make the effort to seek it out.